Global Warming Reached Staggering Peak this February!

Welcome to a new era, human. Welcome to the age we, as a race, finally get BBQed after ages of abusing this poor Earth, causing climate change and global warming. And if you’re one of those “non-believers” that say climate change and global warming do not exist… honey, here’s your reality check.

February 2016 got federal scientists so confused. Why? Because it recorded the highest above-margin temperature since 1880, the year the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration started recording Earth’s monthly temperatures. Scientists are calling these shocking results “strange”, “staggering”, and even “astronomical”. The old record was not so far away, in December 2015; in fact, the last 3 months are recorded as highest above-margin all together, making this winter the hottest ever!


The NOAA aren’t the only guys blowing the whistle, if you’re still skeptic. NASA, the University of Alabama Huntsville, and the private Remote Sensing System team all noticed the exact same results, and were just as shocked. Earth’s average temperate came at 56.08 degrees this February, which is 2.18 degrees over the actual average. And this heat is everywhere on land, in oceans, in the upper atmosphere, and the lower atmosphere. Literally, everywhere was a record this February making it the warmest month ever world wide. Scientists are saying the results look like they could have been in a sci-fi movie.


Don’t get too excited, Trekkies.

Experts are shocked that these extremes have happened so early; they had seen this coming, but not before 2030 or something! Some are saying this is no longer a “reminder” for humans that global warming – aka. the end of the world – is happening, but its more like a punch in the nose. And while some say this is not permanent, and is a result of El Nino coinciding with the gases trapped in the atmosphere. Most, however, aren’t so optimistic and would like to fearfully welcome you to this new era.

Pack up the sunglasses and sunscreen, people. Because only worse records are coming our way…