Have you been having a rough time with your partner in bed, lately? I actually mean that figuratively… you not having “rough” time is exactly the issue here! Often times, we experienced ups and downs in our libidos, and the lows are obviously what we worry about. But before you get your panties in a bunch, chill, and listen up.
I know, I know, a “chilled” sex drive is exactly why you’re reading this, but you’re also here to know why, and how to fix it.
First question is how long has it been going on?
There’s quite the difference between a temporary stumped libido, and something that’s been going on for a while. Short term lowered libido can be due to a large number of reasons that are usually easier to deal with; long term libido problems, however, require a more serious approach. Which brings us to the next question…
Let’s start with the temporary type. One reason may be low sensation, this means you want the sex but somehow your body doesn’t respond. So the first thing you need to do is pinpoint the problem because once you do the solution simply follows.
Some causes of low sensation are high blood pressure, high cholesterol, hormonal changes and imbalances that may be due to pregnancy or recently giving birth. Also, other factors may be stress, exhaustion, or slight tensions in your relationship.
As for long term issues, the reason for your stumped libido is one of three: bad sex, loss of novelty, or simply… you’re in the wrong relationship!
Now, what can you do about it?
You’ll want to head over to your doctor, gynecologist, or therapist if it’s any of the short term issues. If it’s exhaustion or stress, be open about it and maybe schedule a couple’s massage! If it’s any of the physical issues, I’m sure your physician will have a fix-it.
However, the long term type requires more of your attention, so sit back and focus because you need to hear this. If it’s bad sex, you better open up about it and be honest; you may have found your soul mate, and yet they may not know how to pleasure you if you don’t educate them! If it is novelty, this requires an effort from both parties to put fun and life back into your relationship; plan date nights, schedule in “us” time, and don’t be afraid of new, albeit ridiculous, methods! If you love them enough and want to keep them, ridicule and fun would simply fuel your sex drive. Finally, if it’s the wrong relationship then you better come to terms with it. It won’t be easy, but it’s better than settling in a sexless relationship, or worse yet, getting a lover.
The final tip is that you should want to want it. You may think that you do, but really, you may not. Sex with your partner should be something you want, and not a “chore” that you have to do. And often, a change of perspective is all you need to save an otherwise perfect relationship!